Monday, October 15, 2012

a big lesson

Pride says, "You have to be everything to everyone. You cannot, under any circumstances, let anyone down.  You must be the best friend, best daughter, best worker, best roommate, best sister, best [fill in the blank],most dedicated runner, at all times. Letting anyone down entails failure."

And so, I often find myself striving so hard for these impossible standards I set for myself without grace and mercy.  I find myself saying 'yes' to every opportunity and feeling guilty for saying 'no.' Then I run myself ragged and end up dog-tired with the hungry grumps on a regular basis.  I have a feeling that I'm not alone in this matter.  I think it might be a twenty-something thing that I might be growing out of, Thank you Jesus.

 If there is a free hour in the day, I feel so compelled to fill it with something, or else it seems that I am not using my time very wisely or being very 'productive.'  However, lately, I have been making a legitimate effort to make sundays as lazy as possible, so that I am ready for the week to come. Oh wow, what a difference a lazy sunday makes.  Those words which Jesus spoke, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath," offer so much life to me.

 I've now lived with Jessica for 4 years (the longest I've lived in one place since before I moved back to GA from OK 10 years ago).   She's so wise and I've learned so much from her.  One thing I've learned from her is how she allows enough margin and availability in her schedule so that she's not constantly 'too busy' to listen or spend time with people.  She does not find her worth in a busy schedule, as so many of us do.

The truth is that I cannot be everything to everyone and I cannot do everything.  I do myself and God a disservice when I stretch myself and my time unnecessarily.   That's all for today.   God's doing big things here.  Hopefully more on that later.

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