Thursday, May 5, 2011

buyer's remorse...

So, my car is totally paid for.  Although it's still in my Dad's name, and will be until the bank sends the Title, it's 100% paid for.  Next month, I'll pay off my credit card completely!!!  Thank you, Jesus!!!  It was a little less than 3 years ago when I graduated college and realized that debt is dumb [thanks, Dave Ramsey].  I set out on a path to pay it off [Including my car, credit cards, and student loans, it was about 30 grand].    However, starting a job that pays a salary of less than $25 grand is not optimal for doing that.   However, it was optimal for learning how to live on less..."rice and beans, beans and rice," some might say.   Miss Erin Leigh was a huge help in this area of my life.  We started holding each other accountable for our spending/saving/paying down debt each month.  What a huge blessing.  So that's a little back story for ya.

I experience buyer's remorse every time I make a purchase.  There are two reasons for this: The poor are continually on my mind.  I'm thinking about how a single mom with 3 kids might use the $30 I just spent on signing up for a race or a night at Turner field.   Also, I am so close to paying off my consumer debt, I struggled to say no to buying $200 of new clothes a couple of months back.  I felt good about the decision afterwards, but even after paying down my debt, I don't know if there'll be release from the guilt.  Is this an "inner pharisee," eager to condemn, or is this just plain old frugality? 

I tell myself that the purpose for paying down my debt is so that more money can be given.  However, with the impending improved cash flow, I am eying the iphone4. I feel guilty for even thinking about it or wanting one.  My birthday is next month, so it could be a great thing to ask for from my parents, but at the same time, that means $30 every month for the data plan.    Humph.  

In another moment of vulnerability, I ask you, my readers, for your opinion on buyer's remorse, the iphone4, etc.  Is it worth it?  Does anyone else experience this buyer's remorse?

I've always said regarding money, "It's not what you have, but how you hold it."   My hope is that I will hold what I have- my material possessions and money- with an open hand, freely receiving and giving where there is need.  That is all.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh, I struggle with this so so much. I always hear a voice in my head that goes "you don't need that, you could use the money for something else, save it, give it, you will need that money later!" And most of the time those voices aren't about honoring God with my money. They are about my hang ups with money and debt, and for me being raised in a household that didn't always have disposable income. (But what is interesting is I am AWESOME at deals and what I can do myself, so there are definite poverty pluses.)