no hard fast rules to letting go...

There's absolutely no science to letting go. There are no easy steps to doing so. If anyone tries to tell you that you just have to [pray about it, give it to God, etc.], like it's that easy, don't believe them. It's more like an art. I've noticed with the changing of seasons that big changes (for the most part) do not happen in a split second. Mostly they come along slowly but surely...like a sunset, or watching the fire burn your incense (yea, I burn incense) and waiting for the burned part to bend and fall into a pile of ash.

The letting-go part is something that I have some amount of control over- the letting go of control over certain relationships in particular. It's taken the form of something like receiving instructions to do so, and then asking for help to do it, and then having God form His hands over mine to help loosen my grip. Maybe my part in the deal was merely asking for help to let go...and I think that I have. I didn't know it until now, but it's like breathing thrrough your nose for the first time after being sick for awhile. You forget what it's like and wonder how you ever survived.

While I believe that letting go is more art than science, there is a discipline to it, just as a painting or a story is incomplete unless the artist returns to it over and over and over again.   Jesus said "Come to me, all you who are weary, and I will give you rest..."  Just keep going to Him in humility again and again, believing in hope that He makes all things new again.  One day you will wake up and you have crossed through the wilderness and you can breathe again.